New Kid
by ICan'tAlwaysBeWitty
Summary: Dave has just moved to a new town and has only Bro and Rose as friends. John isn't the coolest kid, and has to deal with his boyfriend Karkat. Can these two become friends, or will Karkat get in the way? HammerTime(main), JohnKat, and RoseKan as sides. Triggers inside, rated T mostly for swears.
1. Heck of a First Day

**A/N: Trigger warnings: minor abuse, swearing, and sexual themes. So there might be some OOCness.**

**Disclaimer: Homestuck=Hussie.**

* * *

John was working feverishly to finish his summer Biology report. He knew this was going to be another late nighter; he received a message from Karkat around one in the morning.

carcinoGeneticist began pestering ectoBiologist

CG: JOHN WHY ARE YOU STILL UP?

EB: i am finishing up a biology report.

CG: GET TO BED NOW.

CG: YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU STAYING UP LATE

CG: AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DRAG YOUR TIRED ASS AROUND ALL DAY TOMORROW

EB: then why are you still up?

CG: BECAUSE FUCK YOU!

carcinoGeneticist ceased pestering ectoBiologist

He should have expected something like that from his boyfriend. He never understood why Karkat was so emotionally distant. He logged out of the chat site, so Karkat thought he went to bed. He instead went back to typing the rest of his report. He finished his report, printed it off and shut his computer down. He checked the time and saw he only had an hour before the bus came by to pick him up. John went through his normal morning routine, and then ran out to catch the bus.

* * *

Dave woke up to the feeling of his brother quickly throwing a bucket of cold water on him. He quickly jolted up, and grabbed his sword and blocked just in time to stop a katana from Bro cutting him. "Damn it Bro, I just woke up!" Dave said rolling off his bed.

"Always be ready." Bro said, and quickly exited the room. Dave kept his blade with him as he grabbed some clean clothes, and went to take a shower. He threw some puppets out of the shower, and turned the water on hot. He took off his clothes, and went on to wash himself. Bro quickly and stealthily swapped Dave's clothes with a skirt, heels, panties, and t-shirt. Dave got out and without looking put the shirt on, then the panties. "BRO!" Dave yelled sensing something wrong.

Bro let a small smile slip through and put Dave's clothes outside the door, and knocked once. Dave quickly took his clothes and changed out of the shirt and panties to his regular broken record long sleeve, black skinny jeans, and black converse. He went ahead and grabbed his shades from his room, depositing the blade back against the wall, and picking up his backpack. He walked out the apartment and took the elevator down, and walked to the high school a block away.

He stopped out front and waited for his half-sister, Rose. He saw her walking up hand in hand with another girl, the other girl kissed Rose's cheek and went off to class. Rose walked over to Dave, "Hello brother, how are you and Dirk?" she asked adjusting her headband.

"Well, he threw cold water on me, tried to fight me, and switched out my clothes with women's clothes. All in all a normal morning in the Strider house." Dave said, fixing his sunglasses.

"Well, would like for me to show you around the school?" Rose said, walking into the building.

"Just because I am new doesn't mean I can't find my way." Dave said coolly. "So who was the chick with you? Did my sis get a woman?" Dave teased, in a cool fashion.

"Funny, has my brother finally come to terms with his homosexuality?" Rose smirked. Dave stared blank faced and kept walking. "I take that as a no." They walked past John who was busy putting his books away, and Karkat who came up to yell at him.

"What up with shouty back there?" Dave asked walking around waiting for the bell.

"That is Karkat, he tends to go on rage filled rants. Especially to his boyfriend." Rose said looking back at a fearful John, and an angry Karkat.

"Uh huh." Dave said and walked into the band room a second before the bell rang. He chilled in the back of the band room as the teacher was going over some of the songs they would be playing and such that. The rest of his classes went just like that, except he fell asleep in them. He got into math class, and was about to go to sleep when he saw that John kid with Karkat walk in. John sat next to him, and Karkat sat next to John.

"Hi, I'm John." John said, and extended a hand to Dave.

"Strider." Dave extended a fist, and John flinched just enough for Dave to see. John fist bumped Dave, and turned to face the teacher when they started calling role. _Is he abused?_ Dave thought and raised his hand when his name was called. Dave lowered his head to sleep, and waited for the lunch bell to ring. He got his wish about an hour late, and he quickly walked out the room to the cafeteria. He got in line quickly and grabbed a bottle of apple juice, and went to sit alone at a table.

John sat at the table he normally sat at his normal table. Karkat sat beside him, and Rose and Kanaya sat beside her. "Hello John, how are you?"

"Great, I love all my classes so far." John gave a goofy grin.

"More than me?" Karkat said almost threateningly.

"No, of course not." John said worriedly. The rest of lunch they went onto eat their lunch and talk about their classes. Dave walked by their table and Dave flicked Rose's hair band. He gave a small smirk at her over his shoulder, and continued onto his next class. "Who the fuck is he?" Karkat snarled.

"My half-brother." Rose said.

"Half-brother?" John questioned.

"As in, her mother and his father were married at one point, and now are not." Kanaya explained. Before John could ask more the bell rang, he got up and threw his trash away, and ran off to biology. He turned in his assignment and grabbed a textbook and put it in his bag, and waited for the final bell to ring. He was the last to walk out of class and walked out of the school. Karkat grabbed him, and held him against the wall forcing him into a kiss. John didn't struggle, he just let Karkat get his fill, the he pulled away. "Come on, let's walk home together." Karkat said, forcefully gripping John's hand.

"Ok Karkat." John said, wincing slightly at the pain. He saw Dave walking by, and gave him a weird look. _That is one cool dude. I wish I could get to know him._ John thought, walking in the opposite direction of Dave.

* * *

**A/N: So their school schedule is based off my school's. Which is first period, then second, then fourth, the an hour for lunch, then sixth for Even days; and first, third, fifth, lunch, seventh on odd.**


	2. Sweat and Tears

**A/N: So here is just a bit of filler. Don't shoot me cause it's bad.**

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Hussie.**

* * *

Dave got home and read a note that was taped to the counter. It only had one word on it, 'Roof'. Dave understood, and ditched his backpack and grabbed his sword and ran up to the roof. When he got up top, he readied himself in case Bro decided to sneak attack him. He didn't expect to see Bro sitting next to the edge of the roof with Lil' Cal. Dave warily sat down next to Cal, and Bro looked at Dave as if to ask what happened at school.

"It was fine, slept in most of my classes." Dave started. "I met this real dorky kid, and I think he is being abused by his boyfriend." Dave said. Bro kept looking at him, "Bro, advice?"

"What do you think you should do?" Bro finally said, and got up to leave. Dave got up to follow, when Bro quickly lunged at him katana drawn. Dave did a back flip to dodge, and pulled out his sword. The two of them went on to strife throughout the night.

* * *

John was walking home alone, rubbing his arm lightly. Karkat had flipped out when he said he wanted to hang out with Dave. Karkat had told him to get out, but not before he slapped John leaving a bruise on his cheek. John shook the memory from his mind, and started running back to his house. When he got in the house, he noticed his Dad was working late, so he set out the papers he needed signing.

He ran upstairs and into his room, he quickly checked the bruise on his cheek. He grabbed his pajamas, and a clean pair of boxers. He went in the bathroom and turned the shower on. He heard the front door open, John quickly got in the shower, and just let the water run over him. He started crying when he thought about Karkat. "What is it that I'm doing wrong?" John said to himself.

He stood up slowly, and turned the water off. He got out, dried himself off and put on his boxers and pajamas. He walked back to his room, and put his glasses on the nightstand next to the bed. He turned off the lights and crawled into the bed, and just laid there crying until he fell asleep.

* * *

Dave was breathing heavily as Bro finally sheathed his katana and this time went inside to go shower. Dave went into his room and checked his phone to see he had three messages from Rose. He decided to call her seeing as she was probably still awake. He waited till the last ring when Rose answered. "Hello?" she said sleepily.

"Hey Rose, what did you want?" Dave said.

"First off." she yawned. "Did you check the time on that last message? Never mind I already know the answer." she said a bit aggravated. "Secondly, Karkat messaged Kanaya who messaged me, telling you to stay away from John."

"You mean that goofy kid?"Dave asked, getting a pair of boxers and a towel and waited for Bro to get out. "I never even talked to him." Dave said.

"Well, just try not to make Karkat to angry." Rose said and hung up. Dave tossed his phone back on the bed, and went into the bathroom as soon as Bro got out. Dave took a real quick shower, put on his boxers, and went to start surfing the web for a better sword then his shitty one. He didn't get into bed to around one in the morning, and didn't fall asleep till around two thirty.


	3. Dave's Plan?

**A/N: So, I had this all typed up, saved and was about to put into my Doc Manager. When the power went out. Apparently some outside force doesn't want me to write this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck.**

* * *

Dave was kicking it back in third period Spanish class. He was busy working on a paper airplane to throw at Karkat. He finished and waited till the teacher had to leave the room and then threw the plane at Karkat's head. It score a direct hit, and earned a swear from Karkat. "Who threw that?" He half whispered at the group behind him. Dave kept his normal poker face, and pointed at the ceiling.

"I think an angel dive bombed you." Dave said completely straight face.

The teacher walked back in and Karkat mouthed the words 'fuck you' towards Dave. The class went pretty smoothly from there, and the bell rang prompting a stealthy escape by Dave. He made his way to history class, and just chilled in the back corner, until John walked in with Karkat. _Jesus fuck, are they in all the same classes?_ Dave thought watching John sit at the table with Dave, and Karkat sat at the table in front of them.

"Hi Dave, how are you today?" John said happily.

"Fine I guess." Dave said noticing John's bruised cheek. Dave pulled out his phone and sent a text to Bro about something important, receiving a yes from Bro, Dave started writing a note. He folded up the note and kept it in his hand, seeing Karkat turn around to whisper something to John. "Hey, short and shouty. What is with your hair?" Dave asked.

"What the fuck, why the hell would you want to know?" Karkat said fixing his spiked hair.

"Because it looks like art." Dave said using the distraction to slip the note onto John's backpack.

"Yea and yours looks like stupid." Karkat said, pointing and Dave's platinum blond hair.

Dave lightly clapped, "Awesome comeback. How long did it take you to think of that one?" Karkat clenched his fists causing John to flinch. Karkat turned around in frustration, and Dave smiled very little. He rest his head on his hands and rest until the lunch announcements came on. He quickly got up, and made his way for the door, and made a ninja move and escaped as soon as the bell rang.

He grabbed an apple juice from the line, and went to chill in the band hallway. He sipped lightly on his juice, and decided to get the percussion part for a song down. He set his juice down next to the snare, and pulled his sticks out of his backpack. He started clicking on the snare in time, and then went on to actually pull out his music. He played the music in perfect time, but messed up at several parts. He didn't notice when Rose and Kanaya walked in.

"We see you didn't listen." Rose said, not upset though.

"Who found the note?" Dave said playing on the snare not breaking eye contact with them

"Luckily John actually found the note. He let Rose know, and that's how we ended up here." Kanaya said. "He is actually thinking about going taking you up on your offer."

"And that's bad why?" Dave said putting his sticks away, along with his music.

"Because of Karkat's temper." Rose said.

"What's the worse he could do?" Dave said walking past them and to English class. He waited out the rest of the school day, and then went to wait at the front of the building for John. He waited for about thirty minutes before he gave up and started walking home. Dave took a quick look behind the school, and saw Karkat looking around. _So, John is being a ninja, and dodging Karkat. Well played John._ Dave couldn't help but let a smile through. He went back to the front of the building seeing John standing nervously in the doorway.

"Oh, John your knight in shitty clothes is waiting." Dave said stifling a small laugh.

John walked over to Dave smiling a goofy grin, "Hey Dave, so are we gonna head to your place, or stand here like idiots?"

"Well, I never look like an idiot, and besides maybe I want to just chill here and watch cars go by." Dave said, turning on his heels and began walking towards his apartment.

"Why did you want to hang out with me? You seem like an extremely cool kid." John asked.

"I am cool, in my own ironic way. I thought I might help you be cool in your own derpish way." Dave said, opening the door for him.

"I am not a derp!" John protested. Dave looked at him skeptically, and fixed his glasses. "Ok, not all the time." John added.

Dave unlocked the door for them, and Dave saw a note on the counter. "Bro is so ominous." Dave said aloud hiding the note.

"I thought you only had Rose as a sister?" John inquired making his way to Dave's room.

"She is, I just call my dad Bro. Don't ask why, it's complicated." Dave said, and John sat on Dave's bed. Dave closed the door behind them, and sat in the computer chair. "How long has he been abusing you?" Dave said straightly looking at John.


	4. Dave Screws Up

**A/N: Ok, had trouble coming up with a good way to write this so yea.**

* * *

John just stared at Dave unsure what to say. Dave stared into John's eyes, almost happy his own couldn't be seen. "Well?" Dave said a little worried.

"I am not being abused." John said adamantly, smiling. "Me and Karkat are happy together."

"Really? Explain the bruises." Dave said a little colder than intended.

"From wrestling with my cousin Jake, he is a bit of a handful." John explained.

"I'm surprised that Karkat did kill him. He seems too protective of you." Dave said. "If he ever does abuse you let me know, I will set him straight."

"Why would a cool kid like you care?" John said, barely lacing venom in his words.

"I am just a naturally caring guy." Dave shrugged never breaking his poker face.

John grabbed his stuff, and left Dave alone in his room. "Aren't you going to show me out?" John asked. Dave slowly stood up, and went to the kitchen completely ignoring John. Dave grabbed an apple juice and went to chill on the couch turning on his PS3 and TV. "Really are you seriously ignoring me?" John questioned. Dave kept ignoring him, "Fine, I'll stay. Mostly because Karkat is probably waiting for me at my house." John said.

"Then wouldn't you want to see him?" Dave said, loading up his file on Need for Speed.

John sat next to him. "Because he is going to get mad, and yell at me. He is an emotionally distant jerk sometimes." John said watching Dave race around. "He tends to hurt me when he tries to keep me safe."

"So, he protected your derp of a face by slapping it." Dave said, crashing into a wall.

"That was an accident." John defended.

"If you say." Dave said growing frustrated at the wall. "Screw this shit game. It can't handle the cool that is me." He said pulling the game out. He popped in Portal 2 and handed a controller to John.

"I don't really play games." John said taking the controller anyway.

"Wow. What do you do, homework and stuff?" Dave laughed.

"Yes."

"Wow, your lame." Dave said pulling up the multiplayer screen. They entered a new game, and went through the tutorial for John. They went through the first puzzle room, when Dave got up and turned on the stereo. Unfortunately Bro left a CD that he used to set the mood for any guys he brings over. "Shit, dammit, piss! Bro when you get home we are so gonna strife." Dave thought aloud to himself.

"What was that?" John said looking back after hearing the music, and Dave mumble something. Dave kept mumbling stuff about strifing with Bro, and how much he hated the music always being there. "Dave? You alright?" John laughed a little.

"Yea, peachy. Like, I'm peachier than a fucking peach." Dave said turning on his jams. Dave hopped over the couch and grabbed his controller before landing on it. Dave successfully placed two portals, one above and below John causing him to fall repeatedly.

"What the heck?" John said laughing. Dave got a text from Rose, "Something wrong Dave?" John asked, working his way out of infinite fall.

"Karkat is coming over trying to find you. So you got two choices, hide with me, or go back to Karkat and possible get 'protected' again." Dave said standing.

"I…" John started when he was interrupted by banging at the door.

"Strider! Open the fucking door Strider! I know you and John are in there!" Karkat yelled, banging on the door some more.

"Bro, calm down. I just got out of the shower." Dave said. "Your choice." He whispered to John. John looked at Dave then the door, and sighed.

"Where can I hide?" John said.

"Bathroom, turn on the shower." Dave said, showing John the way. "I will keep him busy." John quickly and quietly made his way to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He sat against the shower door, waiting the ensuing chaos. Dave answered the door only to be pushed out of the way by a fuming Karkat.

"Where is he you fuckass?" Karkat demanded.

"If I knew I would have told you." Dave said straightly. "I am the only one here, except for Bro."

"I thought you only had Rose as a sibling." Karkat said looking around the kitchen. Dave saw Bro about to walk into the already open door, and looked at him from behind his shades. Bro understood and very quickly and silently flash stepped to his room.

"Oh, she is. It's complicated, short version, he just doesn't like being called old." Dave said sitting on the couch.

"Who the fuck were you playing a game with?" Karkat said seeing the multiplayer up.

"Bro. He is in the shower." Dave said messing with the other player. "Feel free to look around, John isn't here. Not like I'd want to hang around a geek anyway." Dave said, staring at the screen.

Karkat moved to grabbed Dave's shoulder, only to have Dave grab his hand and twisted to where Karkat's arm was behind his back. "Not smart man. Me and Bro, stealth attack each other to heighten our senses."

"Just let me fucking go and I will leave you shitstain." Karkat said being released. He stormed out the door, and slammed it. Bro materialized behind Dave, and put a hand on his should endearingly.

"Yea, I know Bro. I just fucked up royally." Dave said, going to open the bathroom door. "He left."

"Ok, well my dad wants me home." John said getting up to go grab his stuff.

"I will drive you." Bro said, grabbing his car keys. Bro lead John down the stairs, and to his car. Dave watched from the window as they drove off, _Yea, I definitely fuck up._


	5. Puppet Master

**A/N: I know how much you guys love pester logs, so here you go. No need to thank me.**

**Disclaimer: Hussie, enough said.**

* * *

John sat in silence as Bro drove him home. Bro just kept focused on the road, not even looking in John's direction. John shifted uncomfortably, and kept glancing up at Bro occasionally, until they came to John's house. "Uh, thanks for the ride back." John said opening the door.

"Give him a chance. He is trying his best." Bro said mysteriously.

John looked at him weird, and closed the door. He went inside, and explained to his dad that he was over a friends. He quickly ran upstairs, and placed his backpack at the edge of his bed. He logged into his chat client, and saw he had a crap load of messages from Karkat, and one from Rose. "Ok, I know what Karkat basically said, now let's see this…" John clicked the message from Rose.

ectoBiologist began pestering tentacleTherapist

EB: hello?

TT: Oh there you are.

TT: Karkat wouldn't stop asking people where you were.

EB: yea, I was at dave's.

TT: John, you say this as if I didn't know where you were.

EB: yea, karkat actually came over and yelled at dave.

TT: Again, I know John.

TT: I was the one who warned Dave.

TT: So, how was my brother?

EB: oh perfectly fine.

EB: he is like a mix between cool and awesome.

EB: he actually showed me what it was like to have fun.

TT: I see.

EB: oh god you are writing this down aren't you?

TT: Now why would I do that?

EB: because you are weird and like to do that kind of stuff.

TT: John that was rude.

TT: Do I have to tell Karkat where you actually were?

EB: fuck, no please don't!

TT: John calm down I was joking.

TT: We can talk more at school.

EB: fine, good night rose.

tentacleTherapist ceased pestering ectoBiologist

carcinoGeneticist began pestering ectoBiologist

CG: I WANT YOU TO GUESS HOW FUCKING MAD I AM.

CG: GO ON, GUESS.

EB: i'm sorry karkat.

EB: jake needed some emergency help with something.

CG: LIAR!

CG: I KNOW YOU WERE WITH THAT FUCKASS DAVE.

CG: I COULD JUST TELL THAT YOU WERE THERE BY THE WAY HE WAS ACTING.

CG: I MEAN COME ON NO ONE FIGHTS WITH THERE DAD EVERYDAY.

EB: karkat

EB: please calm down.

CG: WHY THE ALMIGHTY FUCK WOULD I CALM DOWN?

EB: because you're making an ass of yourself.

CG: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

EB: you are making an ass of yourself.

EB: i'm going to bed.

ectoBiologist ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist

John logged out quickly before he could get yelled at some more. He shut his computer off, and grabbed some pajamas and climbed into bed. He stayed awake playing games and reading jokes on his phone.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the Strider house Dave was sitting on the roof top. Bro sat down next to him with Lil' Cal, and they stared out on across the rooftops. "On a scale of one to shithead, how much of a fuck up am I." Dave said.

"Two."

Dave looked skeptically at Bro. "I know I screwed up way worse than that."

"You made an impression on the kid. He will talk to you when he's ready in the mean time keep doing what you're doing. If that means, messing with his boyfriend until he snaps, then do it. I pass my strings to you." Bro said getting up to leave.

_Mysterious riddler, I hate when he uses puppet metaphors._ Dave thought getting up, and walking down the stairs. He flopped on the bed and just stare at the wall until he fell asleep.


	6. Standing up

**A/N: Ok, Reasons for not updating, Far Cry 3, personal problems, grounded. New rule, I am going to be updating every weekend if I can, if not it will be out that immediate monday. Come winter break, I will update whenever.**

**Disclaimer: Homestuck is not mine**

* * *

John was busy dodging Karkat basically all day, especially when it came to lunch. He walked down the band hall, praying he lost Karkat. He quickly moved his way into the band hall hearing snare being played. "Can't get enough of me huh?" Dave said hitting the snare a little quieter.

"Why the heck are you in here?" John said breathless.

"I play percussion parts in the band? Or maybe I just like hitting things." Dave said taking a drink of apple juice. "More importantly why are you here?"

"Uh, hiding from Karkat." John said, and sat behind Dave.

"Game? Or is he pissed and wants to hit you?" Dave said hitting the snare loud enough to cover up what John was saying. When John tried to repeat himself, Dave played over him.

"FUCKING STOP PLAYING LOUD YOU ASS!" John yelled when Dave stop playing. When he yelled that Karkat barraged in, in a furry.

"John what the ever loving fuck are you doing?! We are supposed to be fucking together during lunch, or did you fucking forget?" Karkat yelled.

"I—" John started being cut off by Dave hitting the snare drum. Karkat looked at Dave and stormed over in front of the snare.

"Hi my name is Dave." Dave smiled, hitting the snare lightly. Karkat opened his mouth and Dave played louder waiting for Karkat to close his mouth. "Now, two options. One, leave. Two, stay and get your ear drums blown out."

Karkat opened his mouth, and Dave raised a stick in the air waiting for him to speak. Karkat flipped Dave off, and left grabbing John's arm trying to pull him away. John stayed firmly planted where he was, "I want to stay here and play the piano." John said, and took his arm back.

"The fuck you are! You and me are going to have a talk." Karkat said taking John's more firmly, and pulled harder. Dave made his way over, and grabbed Karkat's wrist before he could get out the room.

"Bro, if he wants to stay, let him." Dave said, looking into Karkat's eyes from behind his shades.

"This doesn't concern you Strider." Karkat said.

"Now it does." Dave said tightly gripping Karkat's wrist.

"Get off me, before I beat the shit out of you." Karkat said gripping tight enough to leave another bruise.

"You won't be able to touch me." Dave said, still staring into Karkat's eyes. Karkat let go of John, and took a swing at Dave. Dave aptly dodged the punch releasing Karkat, and John ran out the room to get a teacher. Karkat took another swing coming an inch away from Dave's face, Dave pushed Karkat back. John ran in with a gym teacher. The teacher forced Dave and Karkat to stand side by side.

"Ok, who started this confrontation?" The teacher said.

"He did." Karkat said pointing at Dave.

"Yea, I started it, but only because he was hurting John." Dave said. He pointed to John's bruised arm, "See."

"Is this the truth John, was he harming you?" The teacher said, sweating a little.

John looked back from Karkat, to Dave. He took a deep breath, "Yes, he abuses me Mr. Zahhak."

Karkat looked as though he was about to explode in anger. "Karkat, you and David are coming with me to the office." Mr. Zahhak said leading the way to the office, with the two boys following behind him. Rose walked in as they left, and looked at John just standing there. "John?"

"Huh?" John said just staring at the door.

"Are you ok?" Rose said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yea, I think I just stood up to Karkat." John said fixing his glasses.

"How?" Rose said, smiling.

"I said he was abusing me, and that Dave was protecting me." John said biting his lip. "Now I see bad things in my future." Rose patted his back, and led him out and to his next class.


	7. Dishing Out Justice

**A/N: My first update of the new year. This is late because Minecraft, end of reasoning.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own homestuck, it belongs to Hussie.**

* * *

Dave and Karkat sat in the principal's office, staring at the sickening lime green walls. "I fucking hate you so god damn much Strider." Karkat said through clenched teeth.

"At least I have great hair." Dave said, keeping his poker face as the principal walked in.

"Ok, which of you started the fight?" The man sat back in the chair behind the desk.

"I did." Dave said. "In my defense, I was protecting John from getting hurt."

"You're full of crap. You just wanted to pick on me." Karkat said, faking tears a bit.

"Karkat is the leader of the debate team, and a top scholar." The principal said, "Why should I believe someone who just transferred here this year?"

"You shouldn't believe me. You should believe John though." Dave said. Just then the door flew open, and a man slowly walked in.

* * *

John had left class as soon as it started to go to go see his guidance counselor. He walked in to see Dr. Scratch typing something on his typewriter. John lightly closed the door, and waited a few minutes. "Ah John, it is good to see. You seem troubled by something." Dr. Scratch said, turning in his chair.

"Ah, ya Mr. Scratch. I am having trouble with my love life." John admitted.

"I see, what appears to be the problem with Karkat."

"Well, he's been abusing me for the past month, since his brother came back from college. And when Dave got here and me and him were trying to make friends, Karkat tried fighting him." John said. "They are in Mr. Hussie's office now."

"I am going to get them so we all can have a chat." Doc Scratch got up from his seat, and left the room. He quickly opened the office door, scaring both Mr. Hussie and Karkat.

"Oh god dang it Scratch don't do that!" Mr. Hussie said, crawling from under his desk.

"I need Mr. Vantas, and Mr. Strider for a moment."

"After I finish dealing out punishments." Hussie said sitting back at his desk. "Now be gone Mr. Puppet."

"Sir, how many times do I have to tell you I am not a puppet? I need them now, I have John Egbert in my office."

"Wonderful, I was just about to call for him. Bring him in." Doc Scratch went out and brought John in the office. He was seated next to Karkat, and Scratch stood behind Mr. Hussie. "Ok, so John. Dave says he started the fight, is that true?"

"No. Dave tried to get Karkat off of me, and Karkat threw the first swing." John said.

"And then what happened?" Mr. Hussie coaxed.

"I ran out to get a teacher, and came back to see Dave dodging the punches and Karkat still swinging and missing." John said.

"So, you started the fight Karkat?" Mr. Hussie said turning his attention on Karkat and Dave again. "For starting the fight, ten days suspension, for lying about it, one day of detention with Doc Scratch."

"Mr. Hussie that is so fucking unfair." Karkat objected.

"Another day of detention for swearing. I can go all day." Hussie said. Karkat got up and left slamming the door. Doc Scratch lead John out of the room and Hussie stared eye to shades with Dave. "Your punishment, for lying, one day of detention. For helping John, you get a free pass."

"Free pass on what?" Dave said.

"Show up to detention, and you will see." Hussie said, winking slyly. Dave got up and left, getting stopped by Doc Scratch. "I would like to have a word with you."

"Do I have a choice?" Dave said walking into his office.

"Yes, but now it is too late to change your mind. I knew you would think this was your only option." Doc Scratch said, sitting in his chair. "Now, I have a deal for you. Keep John safe from Karkat, and I will make it so that you can exempt exams in a few months."

"If I refuse?"

Doc Scratch smiled and went to typing on his typewriter.

"You already know what I am going to choose." Dave said.

"I am glad you see things this way." Doc Scratch said. Dave stood and walked out of the main office. _This school is weird. All it needs to complete it is a law obsessed blind chick._


	8. Great More People

**A/N: Wooo being grounded sucks major sausage. Anyway here is the update, yea it's filler the real stuff gets more fun next chapter.**

* * *

The only thing Dave hated more than puppets, were pointless school assemblies. He was currently fighting to stay awake next to John. It was three days since the incident with Karkat, and Dave was now John's friend and guardian. "Dave, wake up." Rose said next to him. He groaned and leaned his head back, only to have it prodded by Kanaya.

"God, what is this a gang bang of anti-sleep?" Dave said. The auditorium went quiet as Mr. Hussie took the stage in a lime green coat a few sizes too big.

"Alright everyone. We have two treats for you young Juniors. We had your group come in last because we have a guest speaker and exchange students to introduce. First from England we have Eridan Ampora and Feferi Pichi… Poko…" He turned away to the girl wearing a neon green shirt, and pink skirt. "Peixes. From Germany we have Vriska Serket, and Mr. Zahhak's nephew Equius Zahhak. Plus from Italy we have Mituna and Sollux Captor. Now we will have our guest speaker come up." Mr. Hussie started clapping, causing everyone else to clap as well.

Doc Scratch quickly made his way up the side stairs, and over to Hussie. He leaned over to Hussie and whispered something, "What? You're joking. I thought you paid him to come today? The mic isn't on, you crazy puppet man." Hussie said and looked out at the crowd that was stifling chuckles and laughs. "Ok, so, there is no guest speaker go to class." Hussie left with Doc Scratch following behind him. Dave and John got up to go back to math class, and Rose went with Kanaya to art class. Dave sat back kicking his feet up when the teacher came in with a girl with pointed red shades.

"Everyone this is Terezi Pyrope, she recently moved here from California. Tell us a little about yourself." The teacher said, sitting in her chair. Terezi stepped forward pulling out her red and white cane cackling. "I'm blind for starters, and I want to bring justice to anyone who does wrong!" She said posing dramatically, and then made her way to an empty seat bapping a few shins. _Great, another fucking person whose name I will never remember._ Dave thought.


	9. Detention

**A/N: Oh dear god, what have I done. I have left my readers with out a chapter for well over a month. I am kinda sorry guys, it's just that I (insert bullshit excuse here.) for a while. So here, have this rushed, rather bad chapter. Z out.**

**Disclaimer: Homestuck belongs to Hussie, as the Hussie himself.**

* * *

Dave sat at the front of the classroom, with Karkat sitting next to him. Karkat was busy copying a page that Doc Scratch had left him to work on, and Dave was sitting back, waiting for the school day to end. "So, are you dating that bastard John?" Karkat said, scrawling furiously.

"Bro, deep breaths. You keep writing that fast, you are going to catch the paper on fire. and that would be no bueno." Dave said.

"Fuck you and your Spanish bullshit." Karkat said looking at Dave angrily. A few minutes passed of them staring at each other, before the door opened. A man in a black suit, white button up shirt, black tie, and silver reflective sunglasses.

"Dave Strider," the man spoke very deeply, "you need to come with me."

Dave shrugged and stood, following the man out the small room. Once the door was closed, Dave looked at the man skeptically. "So, what can I do for you Mr. Hussie?"

"You can help me Dave. Doc Scratch is off somewhere in school, and I am worried at what he might do." The man said.

"What can he possibly do?" Dave thought for a moment.

"Well, he could… uh… just help me find him gosh darn it." Hussie said taking off his sunglasses. "How can you wear these all day?"

Dave fixed his sunglasses and did a cool hair flip. "Sir, I am just awesome like that. Now why don't we get someone who can track people?"

"One step ahead of you!" Hussie said and whistled and Terezi stepped out cane, except this one had a dragon head on it. She had on a teal jacket and pants, with red lines on them.

"Uh… Huss? That is a student, and a blind one at that." Dave pointed out, and Hussie just kept smiling.

"I know, she is your partner in finding Scratch. I have to go and not look suspicious." Hussie said sneaking back to his office.

Terezi tapped Dave's leg. "He did think this out. I hope." Terezi said tapping along the lockers. "So tell me about yourself Dave."

Dave stayed three steps behind her so he wouldn't get hit. "I fuck shit up. Why are you in normal people classes and not a handicapped class?"

Terezi cackled. "Oh, well I can feel words."

"Oh, that's bullshit." Dave said peeking in a classroom. "I know where Doc Scratch is by the way I'm just using this to get out of detention."

"So you break all the rules? I am gonna have to send you to the office." Terezi said cuffing Dave's wrist to hers.

"Where do you keep those?!" Dave said, being forced down the hall. Dave tripped and landed flat on his butt, and started getting dragged to the office by Terezi.

"Gog, you are heavy Dave!" She was struggling to keep pulling him. "I thought you were cool, so you shouldn't be lying on the floor."

"Nah, I'm fine. This shit is cozier that a pile of plush puppet ass." Dave said, fixing his glasses and looking at classrooms. "Man, are we there yet?"

"We would be there faster if you got up." Terezi now using her other hand to help pull Dave's lazy body along. "You are being difficult."

"You're being difficult." Dave mimicked.

"I will cuff you to a bench." Terezi said pulling out another set of handcuffs.

"Where? Where do you keep those?" Dave said in awe, standing up slowly. Walking ahead of her without his cuff on. He turned around, pulling his sunglasses down slowly and winked at her before flash stepping into Hussie's office. He kicked his feet up on the desk and leaned back in the chair. "Life rocks."

A man stood in the doorway leaning on the frame. "But when life rocks it will always fall." With that statement Dave leaned to far back in his chair and fell, catching a glimpse of the man.


	10. Karkat Scheme

**A/N: My fellow readers, this is not filler. This is a legit chapter, so don't say this is short and crappy. I know that. OK, are we clear? Good, read on. Z out.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Hussie.**

* * *

Karkat slammed his pencil down angrily, finishing his work. "Bastard, fuck, shit, whore." Karkat swore angrily. He looked at the clock, seeing that he had an hour before the end of school. He pulled out his phone and opened up the Pesterchum app, seeing the person wanted to talk to for the first time in a while.

carcinoGeneticist began pestering terminallyCapricious

CG: GAMZEE I NEED YOU FOR ONCE

TC: HeY mY mOtHeRfUcKiNg BeSt FrIeNd.

TC: HoW CaN i HeLp?

CG: LOOK, JOHN BROKE UP WITH ME A FEW DAYS AGO.

TC: I'm SoRrY bRo, Do YoU nEeD a WiCkEd ElIxEr?

CG: NO! SHUT UP AND LISTEN.

CG: I NEED YOU TO HELP ME TAE THIS KID DOWN A FEW PEGS, SO HE WILL BACK OFF.

TC: BrO, i DoN't ThInK i CaN hElP yOu. :o(

TC: SoRrY.

CG: GOD DAMNIT!

CG: NO, YOU ARE HELPING. REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT?

terminallyCapricious ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist

Karkat began fuming with rage, and looked out the window to see a blue hat with eyes on it looking at him. _God, why are you here Nep…eta…_ Karkat's eyes widened at the idea he had. He went and knocked on the door, seeing her jump, he motioned for her to come in.

"I wasn't spying on you Karkitty." Nepeta said looking away blushing.

"Don't care I am going to have you do something. You get it done, I will…" Karkat thought for minute.

"Go on a date with me?!" Nepeta squealed, and her eyes got big.

Karkat clenched his hands and teeth, trying not to explode. "Sure, now listen. Get Dave away from John for ten minutes. Ok?" Nepeta nodded and skipped happily out of the room. _I had to trust the most easily distracted person in this whole god damn school with the hardest task. Fuck_. Karkat sat back down fuming.


	11. At the Doctors

**A/N: Cool story, this chapter came about because of calculus. SO I had to take a mock exam, and the free response was really hard. So instead of try to work it out, I wrote why I couldn't do the problem, and then wrote part of this chapter on the paper. Z out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck.**

* * *

Dave sat up looking at the man, standing in the door. He knew who the man was, and was confused. "Bro? Where did you come from?" Dave said fixing his hair, and sunglasses.

"I came from my mom. I am here for you." Bro said, fixing his hat.

"Wait, why?"

"You have a doctor's appointment for your flu shots." Bro said turning around, walking out. Dave got up and followed after him out to the front desk, seeing a blue hat looking at him from the door. "Bro, I will be right back." Dave said walking out to the hat.

Nepeta squeaked and ran down the hall seeing Dave coming. "Come on Dave, the doctor is waiting." Bro patted Dave's back. Dave walked out with Bro towards his orange Ferrari f430. Bro tossed Dave the keys, and stepped into the passenger side.

"Bro, are you sure?" Dave said in awe, walking over to the passenger side. "Ok, I get it, this is a joke, because I could never afford a car like this."

"Drive." Bro said, buckling his seat belt. Dave took a deep breath, and sat down buckling his seat belt and started up the car. "Slow." Bro said, motioning with his hand to have Dave move. Dave put the car into drive and slowly started driving forward, pulling into the lane. He got up to the speed limit, and did a U-turn heading toward his doctor's office. "So Dave."

"No. We are not talking about that." Dave said checking his mirrors. "John has no feelings other than friendship for me. I am not a homosexual." Bro looked over at him skeptically. "Stop it Bro, that's creepy." Dave pulled into an open parking spot, and turned the car off.

"You really should stop lying to yourself." Bro said taking the keys, and getting out. Dave mimicked him and got out. "I'm serious Lil man, you keep this bottled up you might become a killer or rapist." Bro said opening the door for Dave.

"That escalated quickly. I'm not gay, I'm not lying to myself, and most of all, they better have cool ass Band-Aids." They both laughed a little, signing in. They sat waiting, Bro texting some friends, and Dave was playing Tetris. A woman came in and escorted them to a room with My Little Pony on the walls.

"Bro, deep breaths, don't break Strider rule one." Dave said, seeing Bro trying not to squeal. A woman with blonde hair just like Rose's, and a white lab coat.

"Hey Dirt… Dick… Don… fuck it." She gave Dirk a hug.

"Hey Rox, how are you and Jane?" Dirk said actually removing his anime shades.

"Oh you know, I smooch her, she smooches me. How are you and little Davey?" Roxy said, hiccupping.

"I'm fine, thanks mom. Or Roxy, or Dr. Lalonde… fuck it. I don't know what to call you." Dave said laying back on the crinkling paper. "Just shot me up, so I can go and chill."

"He wants to see his boyfriend." Dirk whispered to Roxy, making her giggle.

"Ok, my little man. Just roll up your shirt." Roxy said, going to get the flu shot.

"So do I take off my shirt, roll it up, or what?" Dave said, looking at his shirt. Dirk thought for minute, and motioned for him to take off his shirt. Dave pulled off his shirt just as Roxy walked back in with the shot. "Jesus mother of piss! That's a big needle." Dirk punched Dave's arm.

"Uh… Dave? Why do you have your short off?" Roxy said, finally putting on some rubber gloves.

"I what? I took my shirt off, not my pants." Dave said. "But if I have too, why not just give me a fucking physical too." Dave closed his eyes, to take a breath when Roxy stuck his arm with the needle. "Ow, hey." Dave said rubbing his arm, and put his shirt back on.

"Ok, my lottle strider." Roxy hiccupped, and wobbled a bit. "Now remember, drugs are bad, and alcohol is like heaven." Roxy swooned. Dirk and Dave gave her a hug before they left. Bro drove Dave home, and once he dropped him off he drove off. "Ok, Bro thanks for unlocking the door for me." Dave said working his way upstairs.


	12. A Party for Four

**A/N: Long chapter because I finished what would have been chapter 13 today in forensics, and since I forgot to update with the other part so I added. Z out.**

* * *

John was walking to Dave's house with a sleeping bag, and backpack full of clothes. This was the first time since he got together with Karkat that he visited a friend's house. John was busy walking by the school and saw Karkat talking to Nepeta. He froze in his spot and stared at them, he saw Rose walking into Dave's apartment building. John went around the back of the school, and when he was about to make a break for the street Karkat caught him by the arms.

"Hey, buddy." Karkat said. "So, let's talk about us."

"We are through Karkat. I can't stand you constantly being angry, and hitting me. So leave me alone." John said trying to get free but couldn't. "Let me go!"

"Not until you take me back!" Karkat said forcing John against the wall.

* * *

Dave was finishing setting up the living room for his get together. There was a knock at the door and he opened it to see Rose standing with a small suitcase. "No, you can't live here." Dave said closing the door, having it stopped by Rose's foot.

"That's funny Dave. What if Kanaya or Bro saw me out here?" Rose half pouted. Dave still closed the door, and then reopened it. "Change your mind?"

"No, John should be here already." Dave said fixing his sunglasses, and grabbed his katana. "I am gonna make sure he didn't get mugged, or worst. Lost."

"I can't let you do that Dave." Rose said taking the sword. "You can fight just fine with your fist." Rose went and sat on the couch, surfing through channels. Dave left, locking the door behind him. He ran down the stairs and trip on the last flight, but landed on his feet holding his hands in the air. _Note to self, thank Bro for having me take ballet. _Dave ran outside the door and looked around.

Dave ran to John's house first, and when his dad said that he had already left Dave got worried. Dave called John and got his voicemail, "John, its Dave call me you derpy idiot." Dave hung up and went to sit in front of the school seeing Kanaya's mom drive Kanaya to the apartment. He got the sense that someone in the bushes was watching him. He got up and walked in the bushes and grabbed someone's arm. "Hey let go."

"Come on Nepeta." Dave sighed, pulling her out. "Ok, two questions. One, why are you watching me? Two, where did you get that jacket?"

"Well, I got this at Wal-Mart, and Karkitty asked me too." She smiled a little. Dave kept a straight face. "Am I in trouble?"

"No, you can go home." Dave let her arm go and she ran behind the school. "That's what I thought." Dave ran behind the school after her and saw Karkat holding John to a wall. _I really need have him work out a bit._ Dave flash stepped behind Karkat and grabbed his neck.

"Ow, fuck let me go you asshole!" Karkat yelled, Dave pulled him back away from John. He spun him around and held him by the arms. "Oh, you little fucker." Karkat tried to head butt Dave, but Dave let him go and moved to the side letting Karkat fall flat on his face.

"H-hey Dave. How…?" John looked at him.

"I am that good." Dave said, putting an arm around John's shoulder leading back to his apartment.

* * *

Dave got up to his apartment door, and patted his pockets realizing that he forgot his keys. "John can you stay here?" Dave heading for the stairs.

"Sure thing." John said setting his backpack against the door. He waited there for two minutes before knocking.

"Be right there." Rose said, unlocking and opening the door. "Hello John, I see Dave found you alright."

"Yea, is he here now?" John said stepping in, seeing the living room rearranged.

"Was he not with you?" Rose said sitting in Kanaya's lap.

"He went to unlock the door instead of knocking." John said sitting on the couch next to them.

* * *

Dave grabbed his binoculars and looked at the back of the school, seeing Karkat had fled. He saw Doc Scratch standing talking to several students. Scratch looked up to Dave and waved at him. _Ok, old man. That's pretty fucking cool._ Dave thought and smiled. Dave put the binoculars back on the air conditioner where he found them. _People need to stop leaving their stuff around._ He hopped down the fire escape and through Bro's room. He grabbed an apple juice from the shelf and walked in the living room stealthily behind Kanaya. He carefully poked both her sides, having her yelp then turn to punch Dave in the jaw.

"OW! Fuck. Dammit Rose your girlfriend hit me." Dave said through his hand.

"As I should have. You should never sneak up on me." Kanaya said frowning a bit, helping Rose get comfortable. John exited the bathroom and ran to tackle Dave.

"Hey Dave, what took you so long?" He said giving a buck tooth grin.

"John I think you are crushing him." Rose leaned over to look at Dave holding his mouth still. "I think you need more luck Dave."

"Man," Dave said standing, helping John up. "Never lose your cool. Strider rule one. I just need better timing, like, if I were a knight of time that would be cool."

"Dave that is the dumbest title ever." Rose said. "I think a seer of light is a perfectly fine title, not too flashy or anything." Kanaya smiled and kissed Rose's cheek.

John sat on the couch and Dave lay across the back. "Pretty sure, we should stop this." Dave said.

"Can't I have one?" John pouted and looked at Dave.

"No."

"Please?" John said, looking at Rose. She and Kanaya made a motion that suggested he kiss Dave. John looked Dave right in the sunglasses, and moved to kiss him.

"Bro what are you—" Dave was cut off by John's lips on his. Dave stayed like that for a second and then fell back off the couch. "Dave!" John got up to go check on Dave. Rose and Kanaya high fived in happiness that their plan was working.


	13. The Party

**A/N: Hey! Don't get mad, but this chapter has been done for two weeks. I just uh... forgot. I suck at writing gambling scenes, but I love to gamble. To the anon who reviewed, I like the idea, I will keep it for another chapter that I ma thinking of. Z/D out.**

* * *

Once Bro got home, he ordered everyone pizza and retreated to his room. John suggested they watch a movie, Rose and Kanaya agreed with John leaving Dave no choice. "Did you have a movie in mind John?" Rose said, getting comfortable on the couch. John sat at the end opening his backpack pulling out _Con Air_.

"No, that movie is so bad." Dave said getting situated on the floor.

"Oh come on. Nic Cage is totally rad dude." John said, getting up to put a movie in. Dave got up to stop him, and blocked the DVD player. "Come on Dave we all agreed."

"I know, but… it's such a terrible movie." Dave said.

"Then what should we do?" Rose suggested. A deck of cards appeared in Dave's hands with a note on it.

"Gamble, but not too seriously, love Bro. Such a stealthy bastard." Dave smiled.

"So poker? Or blackjack?" Rose said.

"Well what would we gamble?" Kanaya put in. Just then the front door opened and man with a buzz cut walked in. He was carrying the pizzas that they ordered.

"Pizzas for your thoughts?" He said, smiling and handed them to Dave.

"Thanks D. Why are you here, big gig?" Dave wiggled his eyebrows at him.

"No. Bro in his room?" D said making his way to Dirk's room anyway. Dave dished out the pizzas, once D was in the room. He also dealt out hands for five card draw, and John quickly put in _Con Air_. "God damn it John!" Dave said fixing his shades.

"Come one Dave. It can't be that bad." Kanaya said, opening her and Rose's box. "So strip poker?"

"W-well, Kanaya I didn't think you'd be so blunt about that." Rose said blushing, fanning herself.

"My dad wouldn't let me." John said.

"How about you guys just do it down to your undergarments?" D yelled through the door.

"That's… not a bad idea." John said, picking up his cards.

"Fine, but I still oppose most of this." Rose said, she tossed her socks in the middle of their circle. Kanaya tossed in her flats, John threw in his hoodie, and Dave groaned and tossed in his shirt instead of his glasses. "So who is that Dave? Dad's new boyfriend?" Rose said.

"Oh, him? No, that's his DJ partner." Dave said looking around at their faces, when Rose placed down two cards, John placed a card, Kanaya placed three cards. "Plus I don't think Bro would leave Jake, even if it was for D." Dave dealt out new cards to the three of them.

"How is your brother so fast?" John asked looking around for Bro.

"He runs. A lot." Dave laughed.


	14. Just talking, Legit that is all this is

**A/N: Well well well. Look what we have here, a new chapter. Some of you might be wondering 'Well Z how long are you gonna make this goddamn story.' Cause I read your minds. Well, I don't know so don't actually ask. Anyway onto more news from my life, I graduate this Saturday guys :D. That is all, continue reading. -Z**

* * *

They played through the night. John lost after the fourth hand leaving him in his boxers, Rose lost the after him leaving her in panties and a bra. Kanaya won, leaving Dave stunned speechless. "Dear god, I didn't think you guys would take me seriously." D said when opened the door.

"Why wouldn't we?" Rose said, smiling.

"Because…" D said trying think, when Dirk came out and tossed Dave and John pillows. D threw his hands up, giving up thinking.

"You two are staying out here. Rose, you and your lovely girlfriend can sleep Dave's room." Dirk said, also grabbing himself a slice of pizza and a bottle of water. He retreated back to his room. The kids put their clothes back on, and sat back in a circle. "So what now?" John asked, fixing his hoodie.

"Well, we can bullshit about things." Dave said, seeing Kanaya heading to his room.

"The three of you can do that, I am going to sleep." She said yawning for emphasis. She walked into Dave's room, and peeped out. "Dave your room is a mess." She said, before shutting it.

"So, now to bullshit?" Dave said, taking a pillow and laying back on the floor.

"Dave, one does not simply bullshit." John said, holding a hand out to slow Dave down.

"John, one does not simply quote Lord of the Rings." Rose said, holding her hand out.

"Rose, one does not simply overuse meme." Dave said, drinking his water. "Ok, before you even start John, we are stopping that right now." John started laughing, and so did Rose. Dave couldn't hold out for long before he laughed as well.

"This was a great idea. Even though we didn't actually watch Con Air." John said, lying back on the couch. "Have either of you talked to the new exchange students?"

"Kanaya is actually housing one of them. Vriska Serket, she actually expressed interest in her." Rose said, looking at the title screen for the movie.

Dave shrugged and took the movie out. "So are you two gonna break up?" He put the movie away.

"Eh, I told her it doesn't really bother that she feels for another woman." Rose shrugged.

"That would mean that you have feelings for someone else." John said, quickly getting off the couch, and sitting beside her. "Ok, spill who do you like?"

Rose laughed, and patted John's knee. "No one John. I am still with Kanaya, and have only feelings for her."

"Well, that's all warm and fuzzy to know, but I think it's time to chill and sleep." Dave said from behind the couch.

"How did—"

"I'm a ninja." Dave said interrupting John.

"I thought ninjas couldn't be gay?" Rose said.

"Why does everyone think I'm gay?" Dave said, putting hands up in defeat.

"Aren't you though?" John looked at him. Dave put on his best poker face, and slowly descended behind the couch. "Funny Dave, I know you are back there."

"Am I though?" Dave said from behind John and Rose, causing them to jump. "Scared ya?"

"Yes, jesus Dave, that wasn't funny." Rose said, holding her chest. "I think I might need to sleep that off." She got up and waved to them. "Good night John. Dave don't try that again." She went into Dave's room.

"So, what do you want to do John?"

"Sleep, it is well past my normal bedtime." John said, stretching. Dave laughed at him. "What?"

"You have a bedtime? You got to be kidding me. I haven't had a bedtime in ever actually." Dave thought smiling a little.

"Shut up." John punched his shoulder jokingly. "Let's get some sleep then we all can shill at the mall." John said lying on the couch.

"Why the mall?" Dave pulled is blanket over him on the floor.

"Because it is just that awesome." John said, falling asleep yawning. "Night man."

"Night John." Dave said, staring up at the ceiling. _I think I might like you John. I just wish this wasn't that awkward. Fuck this, I am just going to ask you to the homecoming dance in a few weeks, or to hang out more. Yea, now to try and hoodwink D into giving me and them a ride to the mall._ Dave smiled at the idea that just popped into his head.


	15. Wake Up Call

**A/N: Tomorrow is my big day, I graduate from high school. Bout time. Anyway, semi-random filler. I am bad at writing fight scenes so there's that. If you couldn't figure out, D is based off of me. If you did figure that out, way to go. -Z**

* * *

Dave walked up to the roof at six in the morning. He saw D, Lil Cal, and Dirk sitting up there at the AC unit having coffee. "Is this some sort of party?" He said walking over to the AC unit.

"Not a party until the Lil man is here." D said jokingly, taking a sip of his tea.

"You can't call me Lil man." Dave said flatly, opening a fresh apple juice. "Only Bro can do that."

"It's true." Bro said, watching D. "Anyway, are they awake?"

"Nah, they are out like lights still." Dave said and tossed Bro his katana. "Wanna strife a little?" Bro nodded and D stood off to the side, drinking his tea.

"My money's on Dave." D said leaning on the AC unit.

"Poor choice man." Dave said grabbing his sword. They touched the blades, and started swinging at each other. They locked swords, and stared into each other's sunglasses.

"You've been practicing?" Bro said, and disengaged doing a back flip. They ran at each other, dodging each other's swings before locking swords again.

"Just a little." Dave said feeling fatigued already. When Bro disengaged this time, Dave stumbled and Bro hit him in the stomach with the butt of the handle knocking him to the ground. "Fuck me." Dave laid his head back.

D walked over, with Lil Call on his back, handing Bro his coffee and Dave his apple juice. "Not bad Dave, better than me." D helped Dave up. "Definitely, better than me."

"Yea, you're driving me and everyone to the mall." Dave said, drinking his apple juice. Bro smiled and went down the fire escape, with D. Dave slowly walked behind them, "So can you do it?" Dave asked.

"Of course, never assume I can't do something. I will then do it, and then rub it in your face that I did." D said, dropping his empty cup of tea into a trash can. "Just like that."

"You got lucky." Dave said, as they all climbed into Bro's room through a window. Dave took a seat on the bed, Bro sat at his computer checking email, and D was at the mix board. "So, will you drive us?"

"I don't know if I have time. I have to finish listening and modifying the beat for the rap." D said, grabbing a cord and hooking it up to the sound board and then to his tablet.

"Come on D, we work on it all night, plus more." Bro said, responding to an email. "Oh, by the way, we got work tomorrow."

"Where at?" D said unplugging the cord, and turned off the sound board, and nodded.

"The Gates." Bro said, grabbing some clothes and heading for the shower. D got up and grabbed the keys from the dresser, and grabbed a beret from the dresser.

"You keep a hat here?" Dave said.

"Yea, it's the in case I'm a god damn moron and forgot my hat in the van kinda hat." D said heading out the apartment.

"Wait so are you taking us?" Dave yelled.

"Yea, get everyone up, I'm leaving in twenty minutes." D yelled back, slamming the door.


	16. Don't Crash

**A/N: No god dang clue what this is or how I thought this was any where near helpful to the plot.**

* * *

Dave sat in the very back of the mini-van holding on for dear life as D sped through the streets. Rose, Kanaya, and John sat in the second row, and Bro sat in the front. "So, John." D said switching out his beret for a pin-striped fedora. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

John had a terrified look on his face, holding on to the seat. "U-Uh… A biologist."

"Biologist? Jesus man, what are you lame? That is the worst science." D said turning hard onto the street tumbling Dave around in the back. "How about you Rose?"

"A physiologist." Rose smiled, sitting perfectly fine.

"Why aren't you scared or anything?" D looked in the rearview mirror at the four of them.

"I ride with a drunk driver quite a bit, so this isn't that bad."

"Well played. Kanaya what will you be doing?"

"Oh, I guess fashion design." Kanaya tried to smile, but failed when D nearly did a one eighty on a U-turn. "Could you possibly slow down?"

"I could, but…" D started, but stopped when the light turned red. "Fuck."

Dave lifted himself off the floor of the back. "Did you just swear?"

Dirk smiled a little as D started panicking. "Nope, shut up. Swearing is something I don't do. YOU CAN'T PROVE A GODDARN THING!" D said, and he started driving slower, when they were almost at the mall. When D finally parked, everyone but Rose and Dirk got out quickly. "It wasn't that bad."

"You drive like a racecar driver!" Dave said.

"No he doesn't." Dirk said. "You would be bleeding if he drove like a racecar driver."

"Still the best day." D said. "We both some pretty cool scars, except I think mine is gone." D checked his forearms and saw faded red marks on them. "Nope I lied."

They kids started walking to the mall leaving Dirk and D to walk behind them. "D, I want you to help Lil man with something." Dirk said, fixing his shades. He also handed a pair of blue tinted ones to D.

"Ok, you got my attention. What do you need?"

"I need you to get Dave to realize that he loves John. Rose, Kanaya and I can all tell that he does. We just need you to help us with this."

"And besides the glasses what do I get?"

"I will buy you a new hat and suit, plus ten percent commission on The Gates gig we have."

"Damn man, that's quite a bit. I am inclined to say yes now." D said smiling and shook Dirk's hand. "What's the plan?" Dirk leaned over and started whispering the plan to D. "Oh, brilliant idea, I think I can handle quite a bit of that."


	17. Party at the Mall

**A/N: Write it, cut it, paste it, save it, load it, check it, quick-rewrite it. Guess what that is from. Hope you like filler, because you are about to be full! Bad pun? If you need me, I will be writing. -Z**

**Disclaimer: Homestuck belongs to Hussie.**

* * *

D and Bro left the kids to do what they want with sixty dollars for all four of them, and left to the music store. "So, I will hold on to this." Kanaya said. "I am the most responsible."

"No objections." Rose said.

"I'm not even gonna try and argue with them, especially Kanaya." John said.

"So where first?" Rose said, before Dave could say anything. "I vote for the bookstore."

"Lame, Gamestop should be first." Dave voted.

"Or, we could just walk around and see what we want." John said leading the way. "Plus we are here to just chill. It's the weekend, and we don't have homework or shit."

"Point." Dave said and pointed to John. Everyone followed behind him, Dave looked out for the music store though.

"So Dave, what is D's real name?" Rose asked.

"Dennis. Big shocker though, he is a finance major with minor in physics. Plus he can lay down a pretty great beat." Dave said when he got a call. "Hello?"

"Dave come on. No phones, we are trying to hang out." John said reaching for the phone.

"Ok." Dave hung up. "There better?"

"Yea. OOH A TOY STORE!" John said and ran into the toy store. They ran after him, seeing Bro in the My Little Pony section.

"Dad?" Rose said shocked.

"Uh… this is awkward." Bro said and vanished.

"Rose, why is your father buying MLP stuff?" Kanaya asked.

"Because he likes the god damn stuff." Dave said picking up the little Rainbow Dash. "Personally my favorite is Fluttershy." They all looked at Dave. "That doesn't leave this store."

Everyone including Dave laughed. They exited the store, and kept walking around. They walked past who they thought was Bro several times. When they saw D in the food court with Bro deep in conversation, Dave quickly took off his sunglasses. "Wanna get something to eat?" Dave said, covering his eyes with his hand.

"Sure, but why don't you have your sunglasses on?" John said. "You always have them on."

"Just wanted to take them off for a bit." Dave shrugged and started walking, and ran into a pillar. "Ok, I can't see. Now I know how Terezi feels."

"Then uncover your eyes you dolt!" Rose said, and led Dave to a seat.

"No, I can't let anyone see my eyes." Dave said, keeping his eyes covered. "Can you just get me a burger and fries?" Rose shook her head and went with Kanaya and John to the lines. Bro and D walked over and sat with Dave. "I hate you sometimes D."

"Yea, it's not the first time I've heard that." D said and sipped his soda. "But I win none the less."

"How? I'm not wearing my shades." Dave said, and put on his shades.

"Because I lied and you just put them on." Dave made an annoyed face. "So, for my winnings take John to the homecoming dance."

"No. I'm not a homosexual."

"Jesus dude, taking a guy to the homecoming dance is not always gay. You two could be friends chilling at the dance." D said as the others made their way back with two trays.

"Fine. I'll do it, I hate you still." Dave said.

"What is going on?" Kanaya questioned.

"Nothing." Dave said as Bro and D left, fist bumping. "Dammit, should've known Bro was in on it as well."

"Dave you should stop talking to yourself. You always do when I'm around." John said eating his burger. Dave grumbled and took at bite of his burger. The rest of the day, went on with the girls leading the way, and John and Dave following obediently along. Around five they met back with Bro and D at the van. They all piled in this time Bro in the back and Dave in the front. D drove just as fast back to the apartment, as he did from it, and everyone left to go upstairs except Bro.

"Phase one complete. Phase two, get them alone on a hill commence." Bro said, helping D out. "Now we wait till the dance."

"Best plan ever; this has an eighty-two percent chance of working. Fifteen percent chance of doing nothing and three percent chance of failure." D said. "I like those odds."


	18. A Simple Question

**A/N: Hey guys hope you like things not going the way you think it will. Cause this is gonna do just that. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA I am an evil genius! No one ever thought of blowing everyone's ides out of the water like this, except Hussie.**

* * *

About two weeks had passed since the mall, and it was two days before the homecoming dance. Dave had still not asked out John, and he was currently sitting in the kitchen at four in the morning. "What's wrong Dave?" D said walking out of Bro's room, tablet in hand. D was wearing one of his finer suits.

"Fuck you for making me do this D." Dave said bottle of apple juice in hand. "How should I ask his to the dance?"

"It's not that hard, unless you want to take him as an actual date and not as a friend." D smiled and sat across from Dave.

"He is a friend and I still don't know how to ask."

"You first need to look your best. How many polos do you have?" D said looking at his tablet, messing with songs.

"None."

They stared, blue tinted sunglasses to black ones. "Are you joking? A man should always have a polo. Stay right here, I have an idea." D got up and left for the bathroom. Dave grabbed the tablet, and started playing some games on it. Ten minutes later Bro came in grabbed a cup of coffee and turned on the news.

"Bro, how did you ask Jake to homecoming?" Dave said going to sit next to him.

"I just said, hey Jake go to homecoming with me, and he sure ok ole chap." Bro said mimicking a British accent.

"Ok, do you know what D is planning? He went to the bathroom about ten minutes ago." Dave said, setting the tablet on the side table.

"Oh, he went to his van." Bro smiled and watched as D walked in carrying garment bag.

* * *

John went through his day like normal: first period of boring History, then second being a student aid. When he got to fourth he was hoping to talk with Dave about seeing if he would go to the dance with him. Except that when he got there Dave was not there, so he sat dejected in his spot. The bell rang an hour and a half later, and he got up to go sit with Rose and Kanaya. Except when he got there he saw Rose standing there, "John come with me. Please." She said.

"Where to?" John said very worried. "I don't want to get beat up."

"Shut up, and come on." Rose took John's hand and led him towards the band room. When they got there, Kanaya was standing at the door. "Are you ready John?"

"For what?"

"Go in and find out." Kanaya said and pushed John into the hallway. John stood by the door and slowly started walking down the hall. He peeked into the band room to see no in there.

"Looking for someone?" A boy said behind him. John instantly ducked and curled into a ball.

"Please don't hit me." John said out of fear.

"John you are one heck of a kid." Dave said helping John up. Dave was wearing a complete black suit, black button up, and white tie. "How do I look?" Dave said taking off his sunglasses.

John blushed and looked away. "Dave, you look fine. Are the reason Kanaya and Rose brought me here?"

"Yep. I wanted to ask, will you go to homecoming with me?" Dave smiled and looked into John's blue eyes.

"Dave…" John blushed and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm already going with someone. I'm sorry man, had I known—"

"Bro it's all ok, I was asking you to go as a friend, but you took it wrong." Dave said putting his sunglasses back on. Dave put an arm around John's shoulder and led him out the band hall to the lunch room. "So who are you taking man?"

"Vriska!" John smiled a bucked tooth smile. "Although she asked me."

"Take what you can man." Dave smiled as they sat with Rose and Kanaya. _Fuck, I missed my chance to get my foot in the door on his love. Maybe there is something more I can do._ Dave thought.


	19. Hurry Up

**A/N: Well, it's almost time to dance! I realize this is at almost twenty chapters and the plot really hasn't moved much. So I'm thinking that after Phase two, I skip ahead to phase three which is at the Christmas break. Oop spoiplers. By the way if you read the reviews, yes I did comment on my own story, so Deal With It. -Z**

**Disclaimer: Hussie, enough said.**

* * *

It was the day of the homecoming dance and Dave was in the kitchen arguing with D. "Ok, you said you could give us all a ride in the forerunner. What happened to that?"

"We need it to move equipment from The Gates club. So, deal with it." He put on his blue tinted sunglasses.

"Bro, come on. If I show up in a minivan that will be…" Dave stopped and thought.

"Ironic?" Bro said, and fixed his anime shades. "D, can you come over here to talk with me for a second about the gig?" Bro motioned to his room, and they both walked in. "Our plan is broken. He needs a ride up to the hill, and we both have to—" Dennis held up a finger.

"What is Strider rule one?"

"Never lose your cool, so how are we going to do this then?" Bro said sitting in his chair.

"Easy, take Dave, John and their dates in the minivan. I got the equipment, just make sure things go according to the plan mostly, and call if there is a problem." D smiled and grabbed his beret, and tossed the van keys to Bro. "Phase two is now set in motion. Let's let the ball roll." D said and left the apartment.

* * *

Bro was sitting with a fuming Dave in the passenger side of the minivan. "This is so stupid." Dave said.

"You're acting like a child. Suck it up, it's better than the ride I had for homecoming."

"What was that?"

"My feet."

"Big dad Bro didn't have a car?" Dave said as they turned down some streets looking for Terezi's house.

"No he did, it was a beautiful 1968 blue Mustang GT." They pulled up to the address.

"Why didn't you drive it then?"

"I'd failed three classes and dad was disappointed in me." Bro said, and nodded to the house. "Go get your girl, and don't take too long." Dave nodded and went up to the door. Bro sent a message to D asking where he was. He got a reply a minute later, explaining that he was at the gig. Dave got in the back seat with his date, and Bro drove to John's house next.

"Bro this is Terezi. She's my date." Dave said. "Terezi, this is Bro, my dad."

"Nice to meet you. Dave doesn't stop talking about, and all the fun you have." Bro peeked into the rearview mirror, and saw the biggest grin on her face.

"Really Dave? That's so sweet!" She hugged him tight enough to choke him. Dave gave Bro an angry look, when they pulled up to John's house. Bro honked the horn, and waited for the derp of a kid to stumble out with a girl in a beautiful blue dress. Bro gave his father wave and nod.

"The prodigal John returns. This time with a friend." Bro said, driving them all to the school.

"Bro, this is Vriska, Vriska this is Bro." John said and got a sigh from Bro.

"Bro? Is that your actual name?" Vriska asked.

"No. Is that your real hair?" Bro said.

"That doesn't make sense. You can't just—"

"Hey, look at that, we're here." Bro said. "Hurry up, I might still be able to get into the first song." Bro said, ushering everyone out. He grabbed Dave's shoulder and took his shades off his face. "None of these." Bro said and Dave groaned getting out. Bro drove back home leaving the four of them on the sidewalk. Dave took Terezi's arm, and John took Vriska's and they walked inside.

They handed the chaperones their tickets, and walked into the gym. The four of them stayed together at the far corner waiting for the DJs to come out. Dave kept his eyes on the curtain as it slowly opened at eight o'clock. His jaw nearly dropped when he saw who the two DJs were. "Dave isn't that…?" John started pointing.

"I… what?!" Dave said confused.

* * *

**A/N: Guess who the DJs are, it's obvious.**


End file.
